The Genus of Serving

I have often theorized that being a female server is basically within the same realm of women who work within the sex industry. My disclaimer before you continue to read this post is that it is not my position to judge women who work in the sex industry and I am not going into the moral issues or abuse of these women. For all intents and purposes I actually advocate government run programs to legalize prostitution as a form of control to protect these women from sexually transmitted infections, physical and mental abuse by their clientele. Now that my political position is presented, the ladder goes from most sexually involved to least, but they are all within the same sort of genus of catering to primarily male clientele:
1. Prostitute
2. Porn Star
3. Stripper
4. Escort
5. Server
At the very foundation of this totem pole of service is founded upon a woman's ability to use her feminine wiles to generate a profit. This is in no way to suggest that I perform any sexual services for my clientele, but my fellow female servers and I do prey on the fallibility of men when they are presented with any form of sexuality. However, this is not a one way street. In fact, more men turn a profit from this business plan than women do. It is a man who owns the pub I work at, the General Manager, and the Bar Manager are also male. I happen to be the only female supervisor in the entire restaurant, which is a newly established promotion (the bizarre gendered hierarchy of restaurant industry will be another post). My uniform is a tartan kilt. The kilt conjures up so many sexual fantasies that men have about women that it is almost impossible to not hypothesize that the owner did not consider the profitability of women wearing kilts when coming up with his theme for the pub. Again, I'll make the comparison to the "Hooters" franchise: short-shorts, boobs, tight t-shirts, wings, and beer. If you throw a woman's ability to flirt into the mix you have a very profitable business plan.

As a well-educated and advocate of feminist politics I struggle with my use of these stereotypes to make money. I even take issue with my statement that men fall for this suggestive sexuality exuded by female servers. Moreover, I wonder whether or not it is my fault when their friendly flirting takes a turn (for the worst) after their fourth pint and suddenly they're all riled up and wanting more than a fresh Guinness served with a smile. Herein lies the quandary. Although I do not get to choose my uniform, I did choose to work at the establishment. Although I do not want to be sexualized in any way - I do flirt with every male customer to some degree. Am I in a position to ask not to be sexualized while still using my sexuality? Or, is my right to not be sexually harassed null and void once I put on the kilt and turn on the charm? It's a very precious balance that we are forced to play; between being friendly and attentive and suddenly becoming an object of desire.

And, what do you do when that line is crossed? Do you go kicking and screaming or do you accept it as the nature of the beast? But, I'd like to remind you that even most strip club's have a "no touching" policy, the job of an escort involves no sex at all, a porn star is just using their ability to have sex to get paid, and there is no expectation that a prostitute actually enjoys sex with her clients. All these professions have rules, regulations, and expectations about how far their clientele can and cannot go. We recognize that women in the sex industry and doing whatever it is that they're doing to make money. Why don't these expectations exist with servers? At the end of the day, we all take off our uniforms - whether their six inch stilettos and a g-string - or regulation non-slip restaurant shoes and a kilt stained with a mixture of ketchup and wing sauce.

The Reason of Being

First off, for those of you who are not in the "biz" or do not acknowledge the ungendered term for a waiter or waitress is a server. I am not a barmaid or bar wench (yes, I have been called that), "hey-you," "sweetheart," "honey" or any other endearing terms that people love to call particularly female servers. Secondly, I am not using the word "sophist" in its negative connotation of someone who is attempting to manipulate through rhetoric (although, isn't that the best story teller?), but I am using "sophist" from its ancient or original connotation of someone who has wisdom and mine is coming from the perspective of the service industry. I currently work in a local Irish themed pub that caters to a primarily white, upper-class, male clientele. In our too-short tartan kilts, we are only a step-up from the infamous orange Hooters short-shorts (and yes, my feminist sisters - it was a man who thought up this shtick too!) The longer I have worked as a server the more my observations on people began taking shape as a sociological study. I will not simply philosophize on cliched drunken regulars sitting at the bar as they cry into their pint while receiving therapy from a buxom bartender. Instead, I am writing about my observations regarding relationships between those in the service industry and their clients, the assumed caste system in the restaurant industry, and the essential hilarity of my day to day job. But, that's not to say that I will not be writing about the stereotypical perverted and drunken old men, crazy cougars, annoying customers, and the blatant idiocy that you experience as a server. I hope this blog finds its way to servers and non-servers alike. It may enlighten those of you who have never worked in the service industry to appreciate that our job is not just taking orders, pouring pints, and delivering service with a smile. Or, if nothing else, it will hopefully provide you with a laugh or two along the way. Some of my stories will be current, others retold after the insight and distance of time, and those that have been told to me by other servers.

Bon appetit!